Oh but the trees were lovely!

I hate it when people talk in movies.
It’s my number 2 pet hate (#1 being people talking in live theatre).

A group of friends and I went to see Pride and Prejudice today (instead of studying…oops…). It’s a great little movie with an absolutely goooorgeous Mr Darcy played by Matthew Macfadyen, but apparently that wasn’t enough for the two middle-aged women sitting a few seats to my right. Throughout the entire movie these two found it necessary to comment on the scenery and point out the obvious! Let me give you a few examples, because there were many. In a scene near the beginning of the movie, the camera zooms out on a house framed by two huge trees, to which one of the ladies remarked “ooh – what lovely trees”. The exact same thing happened two or three times more and because of this, the conversation the group of us had after the movie was one of the only ones where the word necrophilia was even remotely relavent. Other examples of things said by the women include: “wow, what a lovely house” (also said many many times), “Oh no!”, “That’s his sister” (the movie had made this blindingly obvious) and numerous other questions beginning with “Why…?” I have a question beginning in ‘why’ for you: Why? WHY do people find it necessary to talk loudly during movies??? They weren’t even speaking in the SMALL
“I’m going to lean over to tell you something quietly because we are in a movie theatre and I don’t want to disturb the other patrons” voice –
they were talking in the BIG “I’m going to talk to the person sitting next to me as if we are in a very busy café and not a very quiet movie theatre” voice!
The women, of course, also came to the attention of Sophie who was sitting next to me and, being slightly more forward than myself, she proceeded to cough loudly every time they started to talk. You’d really think that by the amount of splutter and head turning we were doing, they would have shut up. There was an upside to their talking I spose – this viewing of Pride and Prej (having seen it once before) was perhaps the funniest I’d ever been to. After lots of fist biting and dirty looks Soph was attacked by the Giggle-Loop (if you don’t know what this is and haven’t watched Coupling then I’m not going to tell you because “to know about the Giggle-Loop is to be in the Giggle-Loop” and trust me you DO NOT WANT TO BE IN THE GIGGLE-LOOP) so she sat there shaking and trying not to laugh for at least 10 minutes. I was, of course, no help. Just as she looked to be calming down, I would give her a reassuring pat on the shoulder which would inevitably start the whole cycle off again. Hehehe.

Anyway – after that point anything the women said or anything remotely funny on screen would send us into wild fits of laughter. The fact that we (she says I did it, I say she did it – there is no real solution here) spilt a whole bag of Maltesers onto the floor (and, as I later found out, into my shoes) didn’t help. Upon coming out of the cinema (after many reenactments of why she had gone into the Giggle-Loop in the first place and what we should have said to the women) the had to ask us what was so funny about the movie – we, unfortunately, could not explain it and it became a “you had to be there” joke. True, they were there, but that’s hardly the point.

Right, now that I’ve got that over and done with, I can go back to attempting to study.
Physics here I come!!

Keep it real (because if you keep it fake somebody is going to find out and arrest you),

Cait Who Has Had Too Much Chocolate And Is Still On A Giggle-Loop High.

Constable Care: Spring Chicken or Plagued by the Mid-life Crisis Bug?

I have a theory.

Yes, I know. Usually you should approach one of my theories with the same level of disdain as you would if you heard Baldrick say 'I have a cunning plan...' but please, just this once, listen in.

I have been watching tv of late and noticed, to my dismay, that the puppet used in the Constable Care ads has undergone a remarkable makeover. Sure, he's still got the hat, but otherwise he's completely different! No moustache! Basically no eyebrows!! Really, you have to ask yourself - can you take advice from a muppet with no facial hair?
And so we come to my theory. I think Constable Care is going through a mid-life crisis. His puppet used to look about 40 and now, lo an behold, he's suddenly gotten younger. Was he longing to be more hip? To be 'in' with the latest fasion trends? Or did he simply think that facial hair made him look past his use-by date? Whatever the reason, this new reincarnation of CC is, to put it in one word... scary. His lack of eyebrows and moustache seems to highlight the fact that (as he is a puppet) he cannot blink and because of this, to quote Bernard Black when speaking of the twelve-year-old son of two of his friends who had earlier 'blanked' him "he seems to have the cold, dead eyes of a killer".

I'm waiting to see him zooming around Perth, disobeying road rules in a little red corvet just to make himself feel younger...

Hmmm... maybe I have too much time on my hands.

*NOTE: Yes. I am aware that CC is a puppet and therefore cannot go through a mid-life crisis...

Aaaaaaand back to the books (do you see what school does to me?!)

Are you appeased now Kirani?!?!?!?!

Five Reasons Why Physics Has Ruined My Life:

5. I now understand the physics/maths behind such magical natural phenomenas as rainbows, starlight, full moons, glow-in-the-dark stickers and induction stove-tops.

4. I no longer believe in 'centrafugal force' - apparently it was all a figment of our imaginations.

3. I have developed an irrational phobia of the following:
-bridges
-ladders
-walls
-drawbridges
-doors
-see-saws
-coils of wire
-motors
-generators
-split rings
-levers
and anything else that I may be required to calculate the torque on.

2. I now develop a tick when anybody uses 'speed' where one should use 'velocity'. The same applies for 'displacement' and 'distance', and 'centripetal force' and 'centrifugal force'.

and

1. I have actually started making physics-orientated jokes. You know, the sort only people who study physics get and even then you are greeted with groans, not laughter.

Bloody oath.

If I remember correctly, this is the Physics department... That explains all the gravity.

I have a question for you.

Is it actually possible to write a pro-war novel?

You can write a anti-war novel really easily by portraying the horrors and terrible effects of war, but try and write a novel that portays the glory of war and you get congratulated for your wonderful work of satire! I feel sorry for all the poor authors out there who are renound for their satirical works, but in reality they just really like war!

Not that I'm for pro-war novels, it was just a thought is all.

Well that's the last context paragraph *i'll* ever write

Three down, four to go.
I finally got around to counting my exams this time - and I'm only half-way through!! The upside of this, however, is the fact that I've finished my last school-based lit exam. No more context paragraphs for me! None of the Good Answer TEE essays have them and I believe, quite frankly, that they're completely superfluous.
What else...
Have you ever tried writing essays with 'the crying game' stuck in your head? No? I thought not. Its bloody difficult believe you me! I kept trying to write on Medea and little bits of song kept working their way into my head - it'd go like this:
In his play, Medea, Euripides 'first there are kisses, then there are sighs' uses the construction of characters to further promote 'the cr-yyying gaaaame'.
I'm hoping I managed to scrub out all the bits before giving them in...
Oooh - I'm off to study for my physics prac tomorrow by watching Mythbusters.
Oh quiet, I know its not study.

Anywhoo - I'll leave you with a little comic that sort of follows on from a point made in my lit rant a couple of months back

Cheerio,
C.