As I sit here, sipping water from my stolen airplane wine glass, I feel I've reached a turning point in my short life: Clothes have started to best me.
Or more specifically, pants.
Let me explain – I went pants-shopping on the weekend and, among other things, bought a pair of brand-spanking new 3/4 pants. These are no ordinary pants – these are the most comfortable pants in the world! They’re cotton and brown and fit just right so I can move without feeling pant replace vital organs, but today when I wore them to uni I started to realise something was not right.
It began thismorning on my usual mad dash from the parking-lot to my 8am stats lecture. I go to put my hands in my pocket and… hmmm… no pockets. But that’s ok because I don’t need pants that have front pockets, my hands can just as easily swing by my side as I walk. Sure, they’re a little chilly now, but hey it’s not like they’re going to drop off. Then, later this afternoon I go to put my phone into my back pocket – I lift the pocket flap and – nothing. I try the other pocket-flap. Again nothing. I spend the next five or so minutes turning in circles trying to find a pocket to put my phone in and at the end of it all I’ve only this to say: WHY THE HELL DON’T MY PANTS HAVE POCKETS?? They have pocket flaps, yes, but no actual bloody pockets. Where am I supposed to put my stuff?! And how on earth did I not realise the distinct lack of pockets when I bought them?! I blame the flaps. What is the use of a pocket-flap if it is not protecting the top a pocket? I ask you… what are things coming to when you can’t buy a ridiculously comfortable pair of pants that come with pre-installed pockets. What, are pockets optional extras now?
Jeese, between my pocket-less pants and my random-and-big-enough-to-fit-one-10c-coin-in-pocketed shirt, things just aren’t making sense any more…
