As I sit here, sipping water from my stolen airplane wine glass, I feel I've reached a turning point in my short life: Clothes have started to best me.
Or more specifically, pants.
Let me explain – I went pants-shopping on the weekend and, among other things, bought a pair of brand-spanking new 3/4 pants. These are no ordinary pants – these are the most comfortable pants in the world! They’re cotton and brown and fit just right so I can move without feeling pant replace vital organs, but today when I wore them to uni I started to realise something was not right.
It began thismorning on my usual mad dash from the parking-lot to my 8am stats lecture. I go to put my hands in my pocket and… hmmm… no pockets. But that’s ok because I don’t need pants that have front pockets, my hands can just as easily swing by my side as I walk. Sure, they’re a little chilly now, but hey it’s not like they’re going to drop off. Then, later this afternoon I go to put my phone into my back pocket – I lift the pocket flap and – nothing. I try the other pocket-flap. Again nothing. I spend the next five or so minutes turning in circles trying to find a pocket to put my phone in and at the end of it all I’ve only this to say: WHY THE HELL DON’T MY PANTS HAVE POCKETS?? They have pocket flaps, yes, but no actual bloody pockets. Where am I supposed to put my stuff?! And how on earth did I not realise the distinct lack of pockets when I bought them?! I blame the flaps. What is the use of a pocket-flap if it is not protecting the top a pocket? I ask you… what are things coming to when you can’t buy a ridiculously comfortable pair of pants that come with pre-installed pockets. What, are pockets optional extras now?
Jeese, between my pocket-less pants and my random-and-big-enough-to-fit-one-10c-coin-in-pocketed shirt, things just aren’t making sense any more…
5 comments:
i am empathising over here. feel the ebbs of empathy. i have had many encounters with what i somewhat originally term, 'the pocketless pant dillemma.' it obviously saves material, but also raises stress levels. there simply must be some correlation between stress levels, pocketless pants and hypertension, or, for that matter, any other stress-attributable ailment. there's gotta be.
yes indeed ..(did u get my text bout a week ago?)
If cartoons have taught us anything, which they have, its that you dont need pockets. This is due to the obvious rule that everything exists behind your back. All you have to do is reach behind you and pull out exactly what you want.
And if Monkey Island has taught you anything, you should know that you can store everything, no matter how big or small, in your pants, with no noticable bulges.
i like noticeable bulges.
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