Hey little bird, fly away home, your house is on fire, your children are alone
I've made a decision.
I'm going to become a hermit. It's quite an appealing option when you think about it - firstly, I won't have to deal with people (so there goes any need to look after my physical appearance or really care what I do and when I do it) and secondly, I figure once I go mad (which is inevitable as I see it) I won't get lonely because The Voices will be there to keep me company.
Its win-win really.
24 comments:
The trouble with being a Hermit [sounds like TV game show], is that every one thinks that you know something special. 'bout what you ask?.. could be life, or relationships [which seems to be about 93.6% of life] or how to avoid tax [6.2% of life].
They'll beat a pathway to your door. One morning you'll wake up, naked, roll out of the hessian sack ['cause that what hermits sleep in] yawn, stretch, go to the window [a la monty [the other one] python] only to greet the awaiting throng.
Notwithstanding - the thought is appealing!
I don't think I'd mind a throng waiting to greet me every morning... until they started taking my hermit-sandals that I would leave by my hermit-front-door.
You'll notice I can justify having non hermitty items by putting the word 'hermit' in front of them. Eg hermit-tv, hermit-dvd player and of course my hermit-mansion.
People might miss me for a while but I'd say the unwarranted media attention drawn by my throngs would mean I'd be in their living rooms every night at 730, resulting in them seeing more of me than they do these days anyway. Yes, I'd have my own prime-time tv show... that is until they bring back 'thank god you're here' or something equally as popular...
Working title: the Trouble With Being A Hermit
I'd be played by either Keira Knightley or the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons, depending on which demographic the producers are aiming for.
an interesting and increasingly appealing suggestion on how to overcome the issue of life.
Ha... [good chuckle].. I guess you're right, either hermit-way it works!. As either the recluse-hermit or media-celebrity-hermit, you still don't have to wash, care about self appearance [except on the red carpet], and the voices can still rule!
At first I was skeptical, but now this idea of yours is starting to grow on me too...
PS. May I ask who you are, Monk? Your comments seem to be interesting and intelligent, why remain anonymous?
ha ha I simply think every anonymous person is u jeffries.. eg: Monk, Bob the Builder, Padme, nlo/ nils, Moose, anonymoose and the list goes on .. lol.. If either Padme, monk or Nlo/nils arent jeffries tell me? The only other anon person I know is sweets...
Sigh. I guess I deserve this.
Yeah...this is probably Jeffries too
Now, tell me ....Elle...
Why would Jeffries want to impersonate me?
-Nils
Well 4 starters that last anon.person wasnt me n secondly Ill just leeve this convo here.
The last Anon. wasn't me either. I would never use something as vulgar as a full stop after lack of a name.
Ah ...I was gonna say something else that wasn't exactly polite..lol...n as I do not like 2 "fight", "irritate", "annoy" etc. others I will say no more . .
oh my god!!!... elle, how on earth could you confuse me with bob the builder!.. I'm destroyed! he's so, so so, plastic, and i'm so so so, cyber like non plastic siting under a rock like. gezz, this is enough to drive one to being a hermit.. and if any one touches my sandals, there'll be trouble.
I say no more. . .
I must say the hermit idea is an intriguing solution; however, an easier way to avoid the public spotlight is to become Leader of the ALP.
Oh no, that would require an involvement in Australian politics. I'd take a self-induced semi-hermithood over Australian politics any day - I don't want to be mocked on the Glass House... Oh wait, I guess I don't need to worry about *that* anymore...
Jai - I'm glad to see you've recovered from your terrible Badmington-related injuries.
don't forget that Bushy has another theory for the origins of my injuries...
Speaking of badmington...
http://www.explosm.net/comics/742/
Yep, badmington related injuries... badmington related injuries... no other explanation, so let's all blame the badmingtons and nobody else, alright? Alright!
Note to English speakers: "badminton". Not quite sure what the bad mints are on, though. Possibly nandralone.
Ssssshhhhhh! *shifty eyes*
Naturally, Cait, you didn't mean the tennis-esque sport badminton at all. You had in mind the winged cannibalistic beetle native to the Andean foothills, and so the perceived "error" was actually a sign of sophistication common in this family.
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